Harriette Cole: I overheard my girlfriend say she wants to fly solo at the big event

DEAR HARRIETTE I overheard my girlfriend on the phone with someone discussing an fundamental work event they were both meant to attend Related Articles Harriette Cole A special evening was ruined when she let a cute guy turn her head Harriette Cole Should I forgive my mom and let her see the baby Harriette Cole I m appalled that my dad billed my mom for painting the rooms Harriette Cole Need-to-know lessons from a beautiful mother Harriette Cole The day care worker regretted her bad advice about my child Her colleague whom I ve met a sparse times commented the organizer had given her a plus-one and mentioned that my girlfriend would possibly want to have me there too To my surprise she denied the need for a plus-one saying that I didn t need to be there and that she d rather fly solo this time around For various reason hearing her refusal really stung I didn t confront her because I didn t want to cause any friction over something that was significant to her Still her tone that day hasn t left me At other events I ve been whisked away during certain meetings or conversations questioned to refill a drink pointed in the direction of a sports contest on the nearest television or interrupted and spoken over Now this is making me wonder if my girlfriend is embarrassed by me If so what do I do No Plus-One DEAR NO PLUS-ONE At a time when there are no distractions ask your girlfriend to talk Tell her about the call you overheard and how you recalled a number of incidents where you felt she shooed you away during work functions Ask her pointedly why she feels uncomfortable having you with her in these settings Is it something you say or do Is it how you present yourself Be direct even if it is uncomfortable You can either work this out and find a way to grow together or not but you shouldn t be forced to stay in limbo I have a client who informed me lately that as he is building his business he requirements his girlfriend to step up her social skills so they talk about it often If she necessities that or something else from you you two should discuss it and make a plan together If it s something different you need to know that too so you can react accordingly DEAR HARRIETTE About six years ago my cousin stopped talking to me One day I woke up and discovered that she had blocked me from all her social platforms The next time I saw her by chance in our neighborhood I waved and she ignored me We grew up like siblings When she had her first child I was with her every step of the way This cold shoulder caught me by surprise Nevertheless it s lasted six years In recent weeks at large family gatherings I notice her trying to be cordial She ll join a group picture even when I m in it She mentions to others that she likes my outfit or will hand me a plate on the buffet line I find it pathetic For her to be as awful as she was when she cut me out of her life for reasons I still don t know I expect an equally bold apology if she wants this dust to settle Apparently she s had conversations with other family members claiming she doesn t have an issue with me Should I address this Family Betrayal Related Articles Miss Manners They snubbed us we cut them then things got awkward Dear Abby She just wants to chitchat like she never burned down her house Asking Eric My husband says this part of my job is disrespectful to him Harriette Cole A special evening was ruined when she let a cute guy turn her head Miss Manners Various of my co-workers refuse to pay the potluck queen DEAR FAMILY BETRAYAL Yes Reach out to your cousin Schedule a time to meet and ask her what s up Why did she ghost you six years ago Why is she acting like nothing happened If she wants a relationship with you the two of you have to hash it out She has to be honest Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO