Miss Manners: I’m embarrassed to be seen with the lollipop snatcher

DEAR MISS MANNERS I ve started meeting a friend for the cheap breakfast special once a week at a diner Related Articles Miss Manners The F-bombs were flying and I didn t know what to say to these hockey fans Miss Manners I communicated the tiresome texter to cut it out and he got mad Miss Manners She was late so I left Was I the rude one Miss Manners Was I rude to ask where they got the swell walker Miss Manners We didn t realize we drank all the champagne for the whole plane When we pay the bill at the counter my friend invariably helps himself to five or six of the free lollipops next to the till I find it embarrassing Is there a way to ask him to stop without insulting him GENTLE READER Say in a constituents voice as he takes the candy The orphans will be so pleased But you know we can buy lollipops We don t have to deplete the supply here DEAR MISS MANNERS Please please use your influence to bring back mother when referencing a woman who is raising children I am so tired of hearing mom GENTLE READER It appears that Miss Manners is not the only one who finds it patronizing when strangers appropriate the affectionate term that should be the prerogative of the family They don t refer to male parents as Daddy or Pops She believes that they should be just as wary of the consequences DEAR MISS MANNERS My daughter is graduating from high school but she does not want a party I would still like to send out graduation cards to help celebrate her achievement but I don t know how to write it Should I state that she is not having a party but that she is attending the ceremony I would like for people to have a way to congratulate her without having a party How do I do this GENTLE READER What do you mean by congratulate and by a way for others to do so Surely anyone who is friendly with your daughter will wish her well without being prompted by mail And if you say or write to your friends I m so proud of Tanya who is graduating from high school they will doubtless offer their congratulations Not enough Miss Manners has long objected when those who receive formal announcements of graduations or weddings characterize these as gift grabs Why shouldn t people absolutely share their good news But what if it isn t news Or it is news that is of no particular interest to those who receive it The proper recipients of such announcements are people who don t already know and are presumed to be interested to hear Related Articles Dear Abby She won t dye her hair for her husband When did women get so touchy Jill On Money Can Trump fire Powell Asking Eric I ve tried to please the vegans but these burgers were the last straw Harriette Cole My neighbor didn t do a thing when his dog charged at me Miss Manners The F-bombs were flying and I didn t know what to say to these hockey fans Yet Miss Manners had an inquiry from someone who longed to send one to the parents of one of her son s graduation classmates who may safely be presumed to know And as schools sell announcement cards in bulk those who order them tend to mail them in bulk without regard to whether their targets have any personal ties to the family that would make them want to know It is these abuses that prompt the gift grab accusation to the extent that even people who do care either succumb to what they believe is a demand or ignore the announcement entirely Announcements are not invoices The proper response to formal or informal announcements is to send congratulations with graduation presents being strictly optional As gifts are also optional when attending graduation parties you should not feel that you or your daughter missed out Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO